Do you ever have that moment when you realize that God is totally paying attention to what’s going on in your life? I had one of those moments today. I’ve been a little frustrated lately with the way my life felt as if it were at a stand still. You feel even more pathetic when you see people around you and their lives seem to be right on track. I know it’s not their fault it's just harder for you to stay positive...know what I mean?!
One of my best friends just graduated from college, has an awesome job opportunity, not to mention a new boyfriend who she adores, and while I’m unbelievably happy for her I have been secretly envious; not jealous, because jealousy conveys an idea that I don’t want her to have all these awesome things when that isn’t the case at all, just envious that I can’t have the same blessings. Make sense?! Well anyways, I’ve been looking for the things I’m lacking like a boyfriend, job that uses my skills more, basically some sort of feeling that I have something good going for me.
While I know that I’m very blessed it gets hard to stay positive when it seems like you aren’t making progress and I’ve always been told if you aren’t moving forward you must be falling behind. To get to the point, there is this guy in one of my classes who is attractive and seems somewhat interested by his comments and the fact that I always notice him staring. He is definitely not my idea of boyfriend material but I’ve caught myself drifting toward the idea of seeing what would happen. Dumb idea, of course, but that’s the point that we can easily get to when we are looking to outside sources for contentment. Anyways, we understand the state that I am in at the moment and then today I get this email from an awesome Christian friend who informs me that a guy I’ve thought is “Mr. Perfect” is soon to be moving within 100 miles of here. Now I’m not saying that it was a sign from God that we are meant-to-be because I’m not that delusional, but it was a subtle reminder that I should never lower my standards just because I am lonely or unhappy. God has an amazingly awesome guy for me if I just wait patiently.
Well for those who would say that I’m being too quick to jump to another conclusion, let me just mention that that was not the only little hint from God that I’ve gotten today. As I was checking my email earlier I saw I had an email from the communication organization that I am a member of for school. I get way too many emails from them but I always feel like I have to at least open them, so I open this one and begin reading and this is what it said, “As much as I enjoy instant gratification, I know that sometimes it takes time to achieve the desired result. For instance, I learned to crawl before I walked, to walk before I ran. Therefore, I don't fight time; I recognize that it's on my side. All that needs to happen can happen quickly; it may also take time for the perfect result to appear. So I cooperate with God as the fulfillment of the perfect plan unfolds.” (no clue who wrote this or I'd give them credit)
I’m not sure how much clearer God has to be; I get it, thanks God! He has a perfect plan for my life like He said in Jeremiah 29:11, “I know the plans I have for you…plans to give you a hope and a future.” So why do I ever doubt His plan? I will never be happy if I do it all by myself just because I was impatient or thought God forgot. In order to be truly happy I know it has to be His timing, His way, but it is nice, every now and then, to be reminded that He hasn’t forgotten about me.
September 30, 2008
September 9, 2008
What's He wanting from me?
I've been looking over "A Call to Die" by David Nasser again because it has such a great impact on me every time I read it. I have been feeling frustrated with my Christian walk because I feel at a stand still; it is as if God is asking more of me and I can't figure out what He wants and if I will be able to handle it. A Call To Die is a great book for those of us who need to deepen our walk because it helps you to understand sacrifice and what our response to His call should be.
When I was reading recently, God showed me one of the coolest/scariest things that we easily forget. “When we say that He is our treasure, He tests us by either giving us those things that compete with Him or He takes them away....either way, in success or failure, our true hearts are revealed and we can grow." This reality terrifies me because I always pray for growth and to draw closer to Him but do I honestly understand what I am asking? This book is all about understanding God's call of dying to our desires and our selfishness but do we ever really understand that? Nasser speaks about "marinating in God's word so that it is forever changing our very identity." When everything is stripped away the question that remains is; "is the cost to follow Jesus too great, do I have the faith that it takes?"
I’ve really been thinking about this question; I mean it’s easy to say “YES” I follow Him but our actions are what speak the loudest. Can I honestly say my response, if He took everything away from me, would be like Job? Would I be content in any circumstance like Paul? These are hard questions but the greatest encouragement I found is from the disciples. When Jesus asked them if they wanted to leave they responded "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God" John 6:68-69. They understood like Jim Elliot says "he is no fool to give what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jesus holds the keys to true contentment and joy, this world has nothing we need. The disciples didn't waste their time on earthly pursuits that mattered nothing to their eternal; as Nasser says, “these things simply are not important to us.” 1 John 2:17 says "the world is passing away and the lust thereof, but he who does the will of God abides forever." As long as we are living for the Lord and bringing Him glory nothing else matters. Honestly what could God ask of me that He hasn't already given for me? Plus whatever He asks for already belongs to Him anyways. If He wants my money, my time, my life, my family, my friends, etc...it doesn't matter He can have it because it is His!
So I guess my response to my hard questions will have to wait until I’m in the situations, but I can prepare myself to respond the right way by drawing closer to Him daily. I can't say that I've had this awesome revelation and I know what He's asking of me but I do understand that if my walk has depth to it then I won't care because I'm already trusting Him and that is enough for now.
When I was reading recently, God showed me one of the coolest/scariest things that we easily forget. “When we say that He is our treasure, He tests us by either giving us those things that compete with Him or He takes them away....either way, in success or failure, our true hearts are revealed and we can grow." This reality terrifies me because I always pray for growth and to draw closer to Him but do I honestly understand what I am asking? This book is all about understanding God's call of dying to our desires and our selfishness but do we ever really understand that? Nasser speaks about "marinating in God's word so that it is forever changing our very identity." When everything is stripped away the question that remains is; "is the cost to follow Jesus too great, do I have the faith that it takes?"
I’ve really been thinking about this question; I mean it’s easy to say “YES” I follow Him but our actions are what speak the loudest. Can I honestly say my response, if He took everything away from me, would be like Job? Would I be content in any circumstance like Paul? These are hard questions but the greatest encouragement I found is from the disciples. When Jesus asked them if they wanted to leave they responded "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God" John 6:68-69. They understood like Jim Elliot says "he is no fool to give what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jesus holds the keys to true contentment and joy, this world has nothing we need. The disciples didn't waste their time on earthly pursuits that mattered nothing to their eternal; as Nasser says, “these things simply are not important to us.” 1 John 2:17 says "the world is passing away and the lust thereof, but he who does the will of God abides forever." As long as we are living for the Lord and bringing Him glory nothing else matters. Honestly what could God ask of me that He hasn't already given for me? Plus whatever He asks for already belongs to Him anyways. If He wants my money, my time, my life, my family, my friends, etc...it doesn't matter He can have it because it is His!
So I guess my response to my hard questions will have to wait until I’m in the situations, but I can prepare myself to respond the right way by drawing closer to Him daily. I can't say that I've had this awesome revelation and I know what He's asking of me but I do understand that if my walk has depth to it then I won't care because I'm already trusting Him and that is enough for now.
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