Paying Attention

Do you ever have that moment when you realize that God is totally paying attention to what’s going on in your life? I had one of those moments today. I’ve been a little frustrated lately with the way my life felt as if it were at a stand still. You feel even more pathetic when you see people around you and their lives seem to be right on track. I know it’s not their fault it's just harder for you to stay positive...know what I mean?!

One of my best friends just graduated from college, has an awesome job opportunity, not to mention a new boyfriend who she adores, and while I’m unbelievably happy for her I have been secretly envious; not jealous, because jealousy conveys an idea that I don’t want her to have all these awesome things when that isn’t the case at all, just envious that I can’t have the same blessings. Make sense?! Well anyways, I’ve been looking for the things I’m lacking like a boyfriend, job that uses my skills more, basically some sort of feeling that I have something good going for me.

While I know that I’m very blessed it gets hard to stay positive when it seems like you aren’t making progress and I’ve always been told if you aren’t moving forward you must be falling behind. To get to the point, there is this guy in one of my classes who is attractive and seems somewhat interested by his comments and the fact that I always notice him staring. He is definitely not my idea of boyfriend material but I’ve caught myself drifting toward the idea of seeing what would happen. Dumb idea, of course, but that’s the point that we can easily get to when we are looking to outside sources for contentment. Anyways, we understand the state that I am in at the moment and then today I get this email from an awesome Christian friend who informs me that a guy I’ve thought is “Mr. Perfect” is soon to be moving within 100 miles of here. Now I’m not saying that it was a sign from God that we are meant-to-be because I’m not that delusional, but it was a subtle reminder that I should never lower my standards just because I am lonely or unhappy. God has an amazingly awesome guy for me if I just wait patiently.

Well for those who would say that I’m being too quick to jump to another conclusion, let me just mention that that was not the only little hint from God that I’ve gotten today. As I was checking my email earlier I saw I had an email from the communication organization that I am a member of for school. I get way too many emails from them but I always feel like I have to at least open them, so I open this one and begin reading and this is what it said, “As much as I enjoy instant gratification, I know that sometimes it takes time to achieve the desired result. For instance, I learned to crawl before I walked, to walk before I ran. Therefore, I don't fight time; I recognize that it's on my side. All that needs to happen can happen quickly; it may also take time for the perfect result to appear. So I cooperate with God as the fulfillment of the perfect plan unfolds.” (no clue who wrote this or I'd give them credit)

I’m not sure how much clearer God has to be; I get it, thanks God! He has a perfect plan for my life like He said in Jeremiah 29:11, “I know the plans I have for you…plans to give you a hope and a future.” So why do I ever doubt His plan? I will never be happy if I do it all by myself just because I was impatient or thought God forgot. In order to be truly happy I know it has to be His timing, His way, but it is nice, every now and then, to be reminded that He hasn’t forgotten about me.