What's He wanting from me?

I've been looking over "A Call to Die" by David Nasser again because it has such a great impact on me every time I read it. I have been feeling frustrated with my Christian walk because I feel at a stand still; it is as if God is asking more of me and I can't figure out what He wants and if I will be able to handle it. A Call To Die is a great book for those of us who need to deepen our walk because it helps you to understand sacrifice and what our response to His call should be.

When I was reading recently, God showed me one of the coolest/scariest things that we easily forget. “When we say that He is our treasure, He tests us by either giving us those things that compete with Him or He takes them away....either way, in success or failure, our true hearts are revealed and we can grow." This reality terrifies me because I always pray for growth and to draw closer to Him but do I honestly understand what I am asking? This book is all about understanding God's call of dying to our desires and our selfishness but do we ever really understand that? Nasser speaks about "marinating in God's word so that it is forever changing our very identity." When everything is stripped away the question that remains is; "is the cost to follow Jesus too great, do I have the faith that it takes?"

I’ve really been thinking about this question; I mean it’s easy to say “YES” I follow Him but our actions are what speak the loudest. Can I honestly say my response, if He took everything away from me, would be like Job? Would I be content in any circumstance like Paul? These are hard questions but the greatest encouragement I found is from the disciples. When Jesus asked them if they wanted to leave they responded "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God" John 6:68-69. They understood like Jim Elliot says "he is no fool to give what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jesus holds the keys to true contentment and joy, this world has nothing we need. The disciples didn't waste their time on earthly pursuits that mattered nothing to their eternal; as Nasser says, “these things simply are not important to us.” 1 John 2:17 says "the world is passing away and the lust thereof, but he who does the will of God abides forever." As long as we are living for the Lord and bringing Him glory nothing else matters. Honestly what could God ask of me that He hasn't already given for me? Plus whatever He asks for already belongs to Him anyways. If He wants my money, my time, my life, my family, my friends, etc...it doesn't matter He can have it because it is His!

So I guess my response to my hard questions will have to wait until I’m in the situations, but I can prepare myself to respond the right way by drawing closer to Him daily. I can't say that I've had this awesome revelation and I know what He's asking of me but I do understand that if my walk has depth to it then I won't care because I'm already trusting Him and that is enough for now.