Do you ever have that moment when you realize that God is totally paying attention to what’s going on in your life? I had one of those moments today. I’ve been a little frustrated lately with the way my life felt as if it were at a stand still. You feel even more pathetic when you see people around you and their lives seem to be right on track. I know it’s not their fault it's just harder for you to stay positive...know what I mean?!
One of my best friends just graduated from college, has an awesome job opportunity, not to mention a new boyfriend who she adores, and while I’m unbelievably happy for her I have been secretly envious; not jealous, because jealousy conveys an idea that I don’t want her to have all these awesome things when that isn’t the case at all, just envious that I can’t have the same blessings. Make sense?! Well anyways, I’ve been looking for the things I’m lacking like a boyfriend, job that uses my skills more, basically some sort of feeling that I have something good going for me.
While I know that I’m very blessed it gets hard to stay positive when it seems like you aren’t making progress and I’ve always been told if you aren’t moving forward you must be falling behind. To get to the point, there is this guy in one of my classes who is attractive and seems somewhat interested by his comments and the fact that I always notice him staring. He is definitely not my idea of boyfriend material but I’ve caught myself drifting toward the idea of seeing what would happen. Dumb idea, of course, but that’s the point that we can easily get to when we are looking to outside sources for contentment. Anyways, we understand the state that I am in at the moment and then today I get this email from an awesome Christian friend who informs me that a guy I’ve thought is “Mr. Perfect” is soon to be moving within 100 miles of here. Now I’m not saying that it was a sign from God that we are meant-to-be because I’m not that delusional, but it was a subtle reminder that I should never lower my standards just because I am lonely or unhappy. God has an amazingly awesome guy for me if I just wait patiently.
Well for those who would say that I’m being too quick to jump to another conclusion, let me just mention that that was not the only little hint from God that I’ve gotten today. As I was checking my email earlier I saw I had an email from the communication organization that I am a member of for school. I get way too many emails from them but I always feel like I have to at least open them, so I open this one and begin reading and this is what it said, “As much as I enjoy instant gratification, I know that sometimes it takes time to achieve the desired result. For instance, I learned to crawl before I walked, to walk before I ran. Therefore, I don't fight time; I recognize that it's on my side. All that needs to happen can happen quickly; it may also take time for the perfect result to appear. So I cooperate with God as the fulfillment of the perfect plan unfolds.” (no clue who wrote this or I'd give them credit)
I’m not sure how much clearer God has to be; I get it, thanks God! He has a perfect plan for my life like He said in Jeremiah 29:11, “I know the plans I have for you…plans to give you a hope and a future.” So why do I ever doubt His plan? I will never be happy if I do it all by myself just because I was impatient or thought God forgot. In order to be truly happy I know it has to be His timing, His way, but it is nice, every now and then, to be reminded that He hasn’t forgotten about me.
September 30, 2008
September 9, 2008
What's He wanting from me?
I've been looking over "A Call to Die" by David Nasser again because it has such a great impact on me every time I read it. I have been feeling frustrated with my Christian walk because I feel at a stand still; it is as if God is asking more of me and I can't figure out what He wants and if I will be able to handle it. A Call To Die is a great book for those of us who need to deepen our walk because it helps you to understand sacrifice and what our response to His call should be.
When I was reading recently, God showed me one of the coolest/scariest things that we easily forget. “When we say that He is our treasure, He tests us by either giving us those things that compete with Him or He takes them away....either way, in success or failure, our true hearts are revealed and we can grow." This reality terrifies me because I always pray for growth and to draw closer to Him but do I honestly understand what I am asking? This book is all about understanding God's call of dying to our desires and our selfishness but do we ever really understand that? Nasser speaks about "marinating in God's word so that it is forever changing our very identity." When everything is stripped away the question that remains is; "is the cost to follow Jesus too great, do I have the faith that it takes?"
I’ve really been thinking about this question; I mean it’s easy to say “YES” I follow Him but our actions are what speak the loudest. Can I honestly say my response, if He took everything away from me, would be like Job? Would I be content in any circumstance like Paul? These are hard questions but the greatest encouragement I found is from the disciples. When Jesus asked them if they wanted to leave they responded "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God" John 6:68-69. They understood like Jim Elliot says "he is no fool to give what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jesus holds the keys to true contentment and joy, this world has nothing we need. The disciples didn't waste their time on earthly pursuits that mattered nothing to their eternal; as Nasser says, “these things simply are not important to us.” 1 John 2:17 says "the world is passing away and the lust thereof, but he who does the will of God abides forever." As long as we are living for the Lord and bringing Him glory nothing else matters. Honestly what could God ask of me that He hasn't already given for me? Plus whatever He asks for already belongs to Him anyways. If He wants my money, my time, my life, my family, my friends, etc...it doesn't matter He can have it because it is His!
So I guess my response to my hard questions will have to wait until I’m in the situations, but I can prepare myself to respond the right way by drawing closer to Him daily. I can't say that I've had this awesome revelation and I know what He's asking of me but I do understand that if my walk has depth to it then I won't care because I'm already trusting Him and that is enough for now.
When I was reading recently, God showed me one of the coolest/scariest things that we easily forget. “When we say that He is our treasure, He tests us by either giving us those things that compete with Him or He takes them away....either way, in success or failure, our true hearts are revealed and we can grow." This reality terrifies me because I always pray for growth and to draw closer to Him but do I honestly understand what I am asking? This book is all about understanding God's call of dying to our desires and our selfishness but do we ever really understand that? Nasser speaks about "marinating in God's word so that it is forever changing our very identity." When everything is stripped away the question that remains is; "is the cost to follow Jesus too great, do I have the faith that it takes?"
I’ve really been thinking about this question; I mean it’s easy to say “YES” I follow Him but our actions are what speak the loudest. Can I honestly say my response, if He took everything away from me, would be like Job? Would I be content in any circumstance like Paul? These are hard questions but the greatest encouragement I found is from the disciples. When Jesus asked them if they wanted to leave they responded "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God" John 6:68-69. They understood like Jim Elliot says "he is no fool to give what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jesus holds the keys to true contentment and joy, this world has nothing we need. The disciples didn't waste their time on earthly pursuits that mattered nothing to their eternal; as Nasser says, “these things simply are not important to us.” 1 John 2:17 says "the world is passing away and the lust thereof, but he who does the will of God abides forever." As long as we are living for the Lord and bringing Him glory nothing else matters. Honestly what could God ask of me that He hasn't already given for me? Plus whatever He asks for already belongs to Him anyways. If He wants my money, my time, my life, my family, my friends, etc...it doesn't matter He can have it because it is His!
So I guess my response to my hard questions will have to wait until I’m in the situations, but I can prepare myself to respond the right way by drawing closer to Him daily. I can't say that I've had this awesome revelation and I know what He's asking of me but I do understand that if my walk has depth to it then I won't care because I'm already trusting Him and that is enough for now.
August 26, 2008
Seeking Direction
So I am going to graduate soon and have no idea what is next for me. My newest issue is how we are supposed to know what is in store for our lives. If we could really see what God had in mind for us, how much would it scare us? I mean, just thinking about where I was when I graduated from high school and where I am now, it’s just so crazy how different I am!!
When I graduated I was not very social, and I was really insecure in myself. All I wanted was to go to college to have a good job. Well let me just say that it is not as easy as it sounds. I didn’t have any idea what I wanted to be or do with my life. After taking a year off of school and moving out of my parents’ house, I was no closer to figuring anything out. I wasn’t doing anything and of course I wasn't any happier doing nothing. Now I’m almost 5 years out of high school, back home with my parents, appreciating more who God made me, and I’m a year away from a degree in Communication (I found out I love talking imagine that). But I’m stuck wondering what I’m suppose to do with this new found self-concept. I mean it’s nice to know who you are and that you love something, but where does that leave you?
Well first, I have to remember that none of this changing was on my own, God’s brought me this far. I have changed a lot in 5 years and I probably have a lot more growing and changing to come. Then I have to remember that faith is all He asks for; I just have to have faith in His plan for my life. So that leaves me stepping out on this faith while praying that He reveals what’s next. But I guess that is the whole idea of the Christian life; take one step on faith toward God and He’ll reveal your next. There is this awesome illustration a pastor once said about the Christian life, he said, “the Christian life is like a game of checkers—you make one move and then God makes His.” If I’m making a move toward Him, He’s moving closer to me as well.
Isn’t that what Abraham did on a daily basis? Abraham looked up to God and took one step and God, in turn, revealed the next. He had no clue where God was taking him but he left his home just as God commanded. He was willing to sacrifice his son, even though God had promised to bless him through Isaac. Talk about FAITH! I think that’s the funniest thing about God; He knows that we’ll obey, but sometimes, until we make that big gesture of commitment, we don’t really know what our reaction will be. I know you’re thinking what is she talking about but hang on for a minute. You see, God doesn’t make our decisions but He knows them right—well if He knew that Abraham would obey Him then why make him suffer with the idea that he would have to kill his own son? One of God’s goals was to show Abraham that he would obey Him, no matter what the command. Abraham’s big gesture was his willingness to kill Isaac. God had no intention of making him go through with it, but how else would Abraham have known the true desire of his heart, which was to follow God no matter the cost. Sometimes we need to be reminded that given any circumstance, our desire to follow God will outweigh all others. Plus we know that God always provides aka the lamb for sacrifice instead of Isaac.
All of this to say, I’m left stepping out on faith keeping in mind that God always provides for His children. I don’t know where I’ll be 5 years from now, but it is comforting to know that He’s got it all planned out, all I have to do is trust that He’s going to reveal it all in His time.
When I graduated I was not very social, and I was really insecure in myself. All I wanted was to go to college to have a good job. Well let me just say that it is not as easy as it sounds. I didn’t have any idea what I wanted to be or do with my life. After taking a year off of school and moving out of my parents’ house, I was no closer to figuring anything out. I wasn’t doing anything and of course I wasn't any happier doing nothing. Now I’m almost 5 years out of high school, back home with my parents, appreciating more who God made me, and I’m a year away from a degree in Communication (I found out I love talking imagine that). But I’m stuck wondering what I’m suppose to do with this new found self-concept. I mean it’s nice to know who you are and that you love something, but where does that leave you?
Well first, I have to remember that none of this changing was on my own, God’s brought me this far. I have changed a lot in 5 years and I probably have a lot more growing and changing to come. Then I have to remember that faith is all He asks for; I just have to have faith in His plan for my life. So that leaves me stepping out on this faith while praying that He reveals what’s next. But I guess that is the whole idea of the Christian life; take one step on faith toward God and He’ll reveal your next. There is this awesome illustration a pastor once said about the Christian life, he said, “the Christian life is like a game of checkers—you make one move and then God makes His.” If I’m making a move toward Him, He’s moving closer to me as well.
Isn’t that what Abraham did on a daily basis? Abraham looked up to God and took one step and God, in turn, revealed the next. He had no clue where God was taking him but he left his home just as God commanded. He was willing to sacrifice his son, even though God had promised to bless him through Isaac. Talk about FAITH! I think that’s the funniest thing about God; He knows that we’ll obey, but sometimes, until we make that big gesture of commitment, we don’t really know what our reaction will be. I know you’re thinking what is she talking about but hang on for a minute. You see, God doesn’t make our decisions but He knows them right—well if He knew that Abraham would obey Him then why make him suffer with the idea that he would have to kill his own son? One of God’s goals was to show Abraham that he would obey Him, no matter what the command. Abraham’s big gesture was his willingness to kill Isaac. God had no intention of making him go through with it, but how else would Abraham have known the true desire of his heart, which was to follow God no matter the cost. Sometimes we need to be reminded that given any circumstance, our desire to follow God will outweigh all others. Plus we know that God always provides aka the lamb for sacrifice instead of Isaac.
All of this to say, I’m left stepping out on faith keeping in mind that God always provides for His children. I don’t know where I’ll be 5 years from now, but it is comforting to know that He’s got it all planned out, all I have to do is trust that He’s going to reveal it all in His time.
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